What Motivates Me

What is your dream? What motivates you?

I don't know about you, but I know what I want for my life and, quite frankly, i'm nowhere near where I want to be.

I have one and only one dream: to have children.

It sounds simple, but it isn't, at least not for me.

If I am going to have children, I want to give them everything: a nice house, an excellent education, a dog (or if they really want, a cat...), the best food, clothes. Well, everything a parent wants for their children. The thing is, I want my kids to have more than other kids. More opportunities. If they want to be doctors, I'll help them become doctors. If they want to be musicians, I want them to be musicians and I'll pay for the instruments and classes. Whatever they want and need, I want to be there for them, always.

And more than anything, I don't want them to have my flaws. I want them to be better human beings than me. Hopefully, they'll be more like my girlfriend who's kinder and more complete, not a walking contradiction like yours truly.

So, I know what I want but like so many others, things aren't going my way. I work a lot but I don't seem to get the proper reward. What I've learned from my 5 short years as an employee is that you don't have to be good or work hard, you only have to be a very good pretender.

Pretenders are those people that are always working when the boss is around and kiss their ass when they talk to each other. I have people that work until midnight only to get more visibility, though they aren't working at all...

I get jealous of what others get if I feel like I deserve as much or more. I know a lot of people who are better than me at what they do and I always feel good when they get a raise or a promotion.

Why do you think I feel depressed at work?

My team has 5 people but only 3 actually work. One of them always arrive late (as in 2/3 hours late) and goes home early. The other does absolutely nothing. He was in some other team and was transferred to mine. He clearly didn't like the transfer and it shows. Zero work and even plays Tetris. At least the game is good, right?

When it comes to productivity, we have a way of measuring it. We solve problems and problems can be quantified. The latest productivity report says I've produced more results than any of my 4 other teammates combined. To be honest, one of them is the boss and other solves the hardest problems (this last one is the best professional I've had the honor of working with).

To summarize: there's me, my boss, the hard problem solver, the "Tetris" guy and the "woman who works less than 5 hours a day, not counting the 30 minute cigar breaks".

I would fire the two latest.

Hopefully, things will get better!

Thank you for reading. I believe millions more feel the same way I feel.